NSFW dirkjake
you are darkslateblue
#483D8B
Your dominant hue is blue, making you a good friend who people love and trust. You’re good in social situations and want to fit in. Just be careful not to compromise who you are to make them happy.
Your saturation level is medium - You’re not the most decisive go-getter, but you can get a job done when it’s required of you. You probably don’t think the world can change for you and don’t want to spend too much effort trying to force it.
Your outlook on life can be bright or dark, depending on the situation. You are flexible and see things objectively.
woah….true
ok
wat
New headcannon for Dave’s voice.
gee dave get your wig on and shade
Bree.
BREE.
Rapper - Watsky
THANK YOU.
Dirk Voice Headcanon
Suddenly a wild BRO appears
▲: Ooooh Daaaave
▼: what
▲: I need you
▲: To clean the kitchen
▲: kinda sorta really bad
▼: what am i the fucking maid
▲: No
▼: do i look like im wearing one of your random maid outfits that seem to litter this place
▼: because if you need your eyes tested i am not
▲: Your my lil bro who loves his big bro and will help him out since he clothes an feeds your sorry ass
▲: so help me clean goddammit
▼: why is it so important that i clean the kitchen
▼: new girlfriend not like the mess or something
▲: pfft
▲: New girlfriend what are you talking about man
▼: new boyfriend
▲: Damn I wish
▲: but no
▲: Suddenly I feel like cookin
▲: and the kitchen is a mess
▲: And the living room
▲: you either take my living room or the kitchen.
▼: ill take the living room
▲: oh hell no
▼: i have no idea what has rotted enough to grow new alien life in the kitchen
▼: frankly the whole idea scares me
▲: You'll sit on MY xbox all day dammit
▼: no ill sit on THE xbox all day dammit
▲: I bought it
▲: its mine
▼: fine ill read a fucking book
▼: but if i get an education its on you
▲: no you'll clean the fucking kitchen and then get an education dammit
▼: so basically when you offered me the CHOICE between the kitchen and living room
▼: what you actually meant was 'lol dave you get no choice in this you should clean the kitchen'
▲: i lied
▲: yup
▼: youre a monster
▲: Im a big bro
▲: deal with it
▼: fine i will clean the god damn kitchen while you sit on your god damn xbox all day
▼: while i fight of the alien life in the kitchen all by myself
▼: fuck it ill probably die
▼: you can have my books
▲: I'll start arranging your funeral
▲: I'll play "haha your dead" remix
▼: where even are you if i walk into the kitchen and you burst out of the cupboard
▼: i will do an acrobatic pirouette off of the edge
▼: then call social services
▲: im in my room Dave chill out.
▲: you want choices?
▲: fien
▲: fine8
▲: two choices
▲: wanna hear them/
▼: sure what have i got to lose
▲: Option one - Clean the damn kitchen and stop whining
▲: Option two-
▲: Get in here and give me a blowjob
▲: Choose wisely
▼: youre a sick and cruel bastard and im already cleaning the kitchen asshole
▲: Exactly
▲: so stop whining
▼: fine
▲: What do you want for supper
▼: can i politely ask what the hell you intend to cook and whether or not i should be scared
▲: Man you used to love it when I cooked
▲: what happened oh wait puberty
▲: damn
▼: yup
▼: that son of a bitch ruins everything
▼: and i dont think what you did ever counted as cooking
▲: I cooked
▲: I made fucking pasta and chicken and shit
▼: more playing with fire and oil for 2 hours
▼: jabbing things with a katana
▲: and you fucking loved it shut up
▲: The only reason I stabbed it because you were asking me to.
▲: Lookit how great of a bro I am
▼: yeah youre okay i guess
▲: Im the best damn bro there is
▼: what the hell did you kill and leave in this fridge
▼: hey lil cal is in here
▲: Oh, that wasnt me
▲: Cal got hungry
▲: Went on the hunt.
▲: Who knows what that id
▲: is*
▼: probably dead toddler
▼: whatever ill just toss him in the living room
▲: Toss him with care Dave
▲: Onto the couch
▲: /gently/
▼: or what bro
▲: Option two will be the only one left
▲: Yeah
▲: toss him gently
▼: fine i will handle cal with the utmost care and respect
▼: maybe mix him a fucking martini
▼: let him chill with that for a while
▲: You better
▲: treat cal with respect
▼: mmhmm yeah whatever
